Sometimes I need some time + perspective

It's been a month, I realize.  But on a happy note:  I no longer find myself in a crush with a gay boy--and for that I am grateful! 

Also, I've been having a semi-tough time at work with a new coworker (at the non-profit).  As you all know, I want nothing more than to help people.  It's my cocaine and addiction.  My bread and butter.  I MUST help people.  That's why I loved my job at the NGS for so long (more on that at another time)--helping people was literally my number one priority.  I take pride on being quick on the uptake and being able to share whatever knowledge I've gleaned to help others.  That applies at the non-profit.  I was the office manager last year--I know what our boss is looking for.  I know how to work our extremely complicated databases and financial systems.  It was my job to train the new coworker (NC).  So, I did--and I also sit 3 feet from NC, so I obviously felt like there would be more questions later. 

But no.  No questions.  Then errors were made.  And I tried to very sweetly and humbly to see how I could help.  And things have quickly and largely gone downhill from there. 

I will expound on the details later or maybe not at all as I'm trying to dwell in more positive thoughts these days. 

BUT the reason for writing today--sometimes I need literal reminders of why people like me.  Shallow?  Maybe.  Helpful?  Definitely.  It brings me back to Knowing Truths instead of the worries that race around my head when someone just literally hates me. 

I sent a text last night to a couple of people saying that it was one of those nights that I didn't think I could do the NGS anymore.  4.8 years and I'm plain worn out.  I've been overly used, overly depended on...and not always treated in the most ideal ways.  I got this return text from a dear friend:  "Always remember to try and not react out of emotion, but based on facts.  Do what is good for you and know you are loved and supported."

Just that one sentence was enough to brighten my entire evening.  Helped lift the pall that had shadowed my mood.

And then today on FB I got another boost.  I posted about just not understanding why people don't like me...and these are the responses I got:

Me:

I know I should be used to it...but I just can't get over it when people blatantly just don't like me for no (GOOD) reason. Oh well. Happy Tuesday, friends...and let us tell each other all day why we like one another. It'll make us all feel better, I promise. :)

• I like you, Anna. :)
• WHAT? Who couldn't like the wonderful you?!!! You are one of the most selfless, compassionate people I know and [my daughter] needs to hang out with you now that she is older!:) Hope your day is awesome.
• I like you tons.
• I like you more than my luggage! Though if you've seen my luggage, that's not saying much - but I digress... :) I like you <-------------------------​------ This Much --------------------------​---------->
• How can someone not just love you?! YOU are amazing! Love you lil sister!!
• I like you! In fact, I think you Excel. :) (Inside nerd joke: I ask him about Excel issues all of the time)
• Some people are just personality-less drones without love or humor. Dont let it hurt you!
• Some folks won't recognize quality if it hit them in the face ! I like you a very big bunch!, Mom
• That always catches me off guard too... lol... I LOVE YOU and I MISS YOUR FACE!!!!!! ::hugs:: 

Simple postings on a FB page and I feel better.  More centered.  I wish I could audibly hear what God has to say about me sometimes.  Make me feel like I've done something right at some point...

Back to work.  Back to my headphones so I can ignore someone who is clearly ignoring me in our office.  It shouldn't, but it hurts my feelings. 

No work tonight...just me, the Laundromat, and free time!  WOO! 

Next edition:  why I may soon start job hunting; marathon relay training; and reasons why I (snarkily) feel like my coworker doesn't like me.