wow...I sure do know how to take a break and lapse into "no writing" mode. so much has happened and yet I've chosen to not document it here. maybe I'll copy and paste some emails and photos and update myself.

but right now I just have something short to write: Joe, I had the sweetest dream about you last night. When I woke up, I was angry with God because I've been doing so well not dwelling on thoughts of you and my daydreaming has been drastically cut back. My response to God was, "You are the only one in control of my dreams...and it makes it so hard NOT to long for his touch, his acceptance, his protection, his love when I dream such sweet, sweet things about him." So here's the dream that I will cherish: I was lying on a couch and I was upset. You came and just laid on top of me. Not in a sexual sense, but in a sweet, enveloping sense. And I just felt your love and your acceptance soak into me. And I remember thinking in the dream that finally I could get some sleep. And then I just remember bits and pieces, but it was of us sleeping, on a couch, in different positions, but always wrapped in each other.

I'll try not to dwell on that sweetness because it brings much bittersweet pain and realization that it was indeed only a dream and you still haven't called, haven't written...but for right this moment, I smile and think of all the good God has done in my life thus far and how He won't leave me.

Joe...I just wish I could get over you or else have some reason to still be in love with you...