As to keep with tradition

I honestly had forgotten about this blog. And I've re-read some entries and have mostly laughed at myself. My 26-year-old self and my current 29-year-old self are creepily similar and yet worlds apart.

And as to keep with tradition, I shall now blog about a boy/man.

I don't have a crush on this one, though. I'm done with secret crushes/unrequited love/pining. Done. And that's God's honest truth.

This one, I referenced him in a previous post as the King of Miami and as far as I can tell his name is Leo. He's supposedly French and lives in Miami.  I still kind of wonder as to what kind of language barrier that poses. Well, Leo found me through this BBW website I've become a member of (BBW=big, beautiful woman). Leo LOVES what I've got going on. L-O-V-E-S it. He asked me to move to Miami to be with him--I'd become his queen (thus his current moniker).

Leo contacted me via the instant messaging feature on said BBW website. So we pleasantly chatted for a little while. His profile wasn't that interesting, but I didn't mind the company. And honestly, friends, I do not mind a little flattery every now and again. And Leo was pouring it on thick. He hung on my every word. And now for my blushing/innocent friends: you may need to stop reading now. Things got a little racy. His flatteries and compliments took a distinct sexual turn and I didn't tell him no. I'm nearly 30 and not that I have to justify a damn thing, I'd just like to say that I've lived a very prudish life since HIGH SCHOOL and I am an adult and decided to dip my toes in the pool and see if I wanted a swim. The IM feature on the site was not in ideal working condition, so he asked if we could switch over to another messaging service. I said yes. The chat was NOT G-rated. Not even close. And I was enjoying myself immensely. There. I said it. I enjoyed talking to someone who thought I was sexy, desirable, and very plainly wanted me. I've never, ever, ever had an encounter with a man who wanted me. Jeremy in Mississippi said he wanted me, yet never could find the gumption to make it to GA to meet me. I've spent entirely too much of my life being the best friend, not the leading lady (analogy taken from the recently re-watched The Holiday). Best friends don't get desired...but the leading ladies do.

Leo knew what he was doing. And I went along with it. It was a very satisfactory conversation. The second IM conversation a couple of days later was also very satisfactory. And then there was a third. And the third involved an invitation to use a webcam. So there may or may not have been some video transmissions of some sort. And ladies and gents: I am not ashamed. Well, maybe if my mother were reading this. Or perhaps my 14-year-old niece. Jesus and I are on very good terms these days. We talk a lot. We discuss a lot. And although cybersex probably isn't edifying, I'm ok with it. So there. I am in the middle of an Anna Renaissance. I am playing Edna Pontellier in my very own Chopin's The Awakening. My 29th year on Earth is going to be about ME. And right now, that includes someone named Leo. He was a first (and last) experience, and I've learned a lot about myself and that's how you grow as a person, right?

Well, fast forward to about 2 hours ago. I got in from work. I opened my laptop. I was planning on blogging regarding something totally different...but for whatever reason, my IM program launched itself and Leo appeared. "Baby, I miss you." "Baby, why are you ignoring me?" "Have you met some1 else?" I told him that I've been busy (read: avoiding this IM program because of him) and I don't see work letting up any time soon.  I asked about his holiday. He asked about mine. And then, "Baby, I want to see you." Ahh, yes. The webcam. Anna, the saucy bold wench who revels in webcam encounters doesn't live here anymore, Leo.

I said "no" in several different ways and variations. But honestly, I enjoyed his pleading. I mean, I could have logged off. But I didn't. And then he huffily signed off and now I'M the one that's off-put and kind of offended. I'm such a girl.

Long day tomorrow. And did I really just use the word "cybersex"? Goodness. Who am I? ;)