And I quote...

So, I felt bad for how I left things with Thumper on Friday. And I caved and wrote an email this morning:

Subject: I'm sorry
I know you're busy beyond belief. I know things are complicated by living and working with your ex.
I'm not trying to make things worse or awkward. So, just know I wanted to bring you flowers this weekend because I knew Mother's Day plus your mom's birthday was and is going to suck.
So, just know I'm here if you want to talk, and if you want me to back off I get that too.
Try to take some time for you today and I'll catch you on the flipside.
--A

Around the same time, I sent this text (because I can't leave well enough alone):
I can only imagine how sucky yesterday was and tomorrow will be worse. Just know I'm thinking of you and I'm here to talk if you want.

[A small amount of back story: back in August she found her mom dead in the home they shared. She was first responder--performed CPR, called 911, the whole bit. So, understandably she moved out of the Dead Mom house and moved in with the ex. Again, understandably. An ex is comfortable, and ex knows you and can help hold you up when you can't hold yourself. I get it. Also, yesterday was the first Mother's Day since she lost her mom. And tomorrow would have been her mom's 50th birthday. Doubly sucky week for Ms. Thumper.]

I then got this via gchat:
I'm not mad. [Might I interject that I never said she was mad or had reason to be mad? Ok, moving on.] Here is what I want: I want to get to know you. Be your friend. Maybe in a month or two I will have enough time to meet up. Maybe in three or so months we can do an actual date. Maybe in six months you will be my exclusive girlfriend. But today, and that is all I can think about, I need a friend that let's me be my crazy self and like me for that. Oh, and hello.

[Excuse me, what just happened? I have to wait a month or two to MEET her. In three or more months we can have an actual date and in SIX months we'll officially be dating? No ma'am. That does not work for me. In five months I will be 30. I don't just have all the time in the world to be strung along by someone who may OR MAY NOT (hence the use of all those "maybe" statements) want to be with me. I've been there. I've done that. I'd rather be aggravatingly single than to be sitting on the fence.]

Me: Hello. :)
Her: I also haven't been avoiding you I am just slammed. [Again, I never said she was avoiding me. Please don't project your issues! I do enough of that on my own, thank you very much.]

Me: I never thought you were avoiding me. And now we're on the same page...and that's all I was wanting and needing. So, perfection. Consider me the friend that celebrates your crazy.

Her: And my boss made me cry at work this morning so I am bitchy and having a shitty day consider yourself forewarned.
Her: If you could talk I would call you. I am driving and am having a highly distracted day, typing should be minimal.
Me: (before I saw her let's call and talk message) And honey, you've met your match as I rarely have a shitty day and I see the best in every damn situation. It's totally annoying...but hey, it's who I am. And I love nothing more than trying to lift the spirits of others.
Me: Hey, I'm in the post office. I'll call when I'm out. I'm in an awesomely long line, however.
Her: Warning, today I will squish that like a bug [she's referencing me being a spirit-lifter].

I was finished at the post office by this point...and instead of calling Thumper like I told her I would, I called @braindisposal instead. In my defense, I didn't really want to talk to Thumper. She had dropped a bomb on me and I wasn't ready to really respond. I'm still not. Also, she's clearly in a dark place and I wasn't in the mood to be an ego stroker. And @braindisposal, who has been my friend since, well, elementary school as her mom was my 2nd grade teacher, I just knew she'd love this latest bomb.

So we talked about Thump. And we really discussed how I don't want to be strung along where she gets all the relationship considerations and I just have to go along with it. And then we talked about her relationship, umm, challenges and I just haven't really thought about Thumper the rest of the day.

I don't know how I feel, honestly. And as my fried Gray says: I think you still like men with beards.

He's probably right.